Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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