epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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