I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
