508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize