Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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