i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
