So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
