He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
