2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
