i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Can Purell be used as lube?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
