Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
