doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
