This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
