it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
