My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
