i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
