My first STD was from a foam party
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
