she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
