I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
