I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
