No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
