Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
