Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
