I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i came on her dog
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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