What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
