I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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