We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
