Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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