come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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