The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize