You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
