I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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