So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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