defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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