I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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