on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
birth control should be required to get into college
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
