Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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