Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
