Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
