that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
