seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
