Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize