i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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