we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
