So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize