He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
