So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
