You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
