sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
