By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
