i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I want to be your penis for a week.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize