So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
