This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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