apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
