i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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