It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
