If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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