Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
