Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
