I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
