i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Barsexuality is the new black.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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