I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We have so much sex to catch up on
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
