Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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