I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
