the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize