Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
