You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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