the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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