before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
