You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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