If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
