She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
COCAINE IS GR8
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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