whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
