why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize