My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
