$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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