Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
