we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
