It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
